“We are spiritual beings in human bodies”
I’ve been moving my body creatively and athletically since I was super young. In the process of going through my memorabilia as part of my second round (and monster project) of “tidying up”, I revisited pictures of myself. It was a classic experience of acknowledging my Being and Becoming selves. It was clear to me that from the age of 19-22 (the majority of college) I was at the height of unhappiness and self sabotage. Reading journals and looking at pictures, I was enjoying life on a superficial level, but masking deep sadness with food, drugs and alcohol. I was smiling in all the photos, but I wasn’t all there. I got good grades, (except for that one dreaded macroeconomics class of 300, where I was a number among numbers).
I ran, worked out, surrounded myself with active people and moved my body – for the most part. The other part of the time, I was partying. Staying up late and sleeping in. On some level it was what I thought I should be doing. I learned the word “diet” at a young age, so had a skewed relationship with food. I became addicted to caffeine, sugar, carbs, procrastination and staying up late to meet deadlines. I came across as happy on the surface, but again was hurting deeply. It wasn’t until I went on my first 3 week backpacking trip, that I found a renewed love for my body and my mind. Why? Because there was no mirror. I fell in love with ME and not who I should be. But this feeling would rear it’s head for years to come. Nature would be my gateway back to my body, mind and spirit.
At the time, I didn’t love my body.
Fast forward multiple backpacking trips later, a year and a half living in the mountains and exploring the canyons and rivers of Utah and the year I graduated from college. I received a degree in Leisure Services and a minor in Outdoor Program Administration. I studied what people did in their free time. It’s a funny title and I laugh every time, but it’s really the job of the yoga teacher and yoga health coach I’ve become. It’s fun to see how things come full circle.
I had done a weeee bit of yoga by then and even had a boyfriend for a short time who subscribed to Yoga Journal. But my love affair with asana wasn’t fully ignited until I moved to Prescott in 1998. For the next 18 years I would study, immerse and apply yoga into every nook of my life and simultaneously pursue a career in Outdoor Program Administration. I would continue to stoke my passion for holistic wellness and modern living not what I would describe as “leisure services”, but Ayurveda, the science of everyday living, which is certainly something done in one’s free time that influences and enhances all other domains of life. My self esteem and body image issues would unravel through a series of life experiments in connection with nature, running rivers, sleeping under the stars, mediating, moving my body with my breath, habit evolution, transformation and motherhood.
I began to love my body.
In reflection, I’ve been a seeker of the growing edge all my life.
My body became my home, my temple and as BKS Iyengar says, my asanas became my prayers. I got a Masters Degree in Environmental Studies, excelled in leadership opportunities on a national level within my field, received my yoga teacher certification in a method that would propel me, pull me back and propel me again into my dharma. I started focusing on my inner world by sitting with myself and studying with a community and teacher that would support an unraveling of BRULES (bullshit – rules that are no longer true – another one of those great words from Vishen Lakhiani, author of The Code of the Extraordinary Mind I mentioned last week.) I started studying Ayurveda and gained a deeper understanding of the flow of energy and became confident in my own health and Self in profound ways.
Years later, my body became the conscious home for a spiritual being. My job was clear. I had to create the space for another being to thrive. I knew that my work would be to teach him how to have a body, because I had missed the deeper lesson there along the way. With each generation we evolve, right? So, this was one of the lessons I didn’t want him to have to wait for.
My body expanded and so did my heart. I now love my body.
My Ayurveda teacher Cate Stillman of yogahealer.com says in her latest book Body Thrive, “You only get one body. Which habits are you going to mold it with? There is a rhythm to your body thriving. When you know and live into this rhythm, you engage in your best life ever. The rhythm create an order. When you engage in order, you thrive; when you disregard it, you suffer.”
Miles entered the world with his eyes open and a hefty weight. He has been “in his body” since he arrived. I don’t know how much teaching I need to do, but more role modeling.
So, right now we make sure a day doesn’t go by that we don’t:
- Rub oil on our bodies and up our noses before bed.
- Play in the garden and connect it with our dinner plate and how we feel.
- Learn to take deep breaths when the tears come so strong and the words are garbled
- Model the importance of movement and self care and
- Hug, hug and hug some more.
This may not be the lesson for you or your children. But I think it was Wayne Dyer who said something like, “we are spiritual beings in human bodies, not human bodies with a spirit.”
To own and honor my stories and history is part of the gratitude I have for this life. And how cool is it, that in each phase of life we get to rewrite the stories over and over again. Which is why you’ll see me torching all that no longer serves me in a sacred fire this Sunday. It may sound extreme, but it’s continuing to create the space for my future me to be unveiled.
And today, I love my body more than ever. With all it’s dimples, creases, wrinkles and stories to tell.
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Rachel Peters is a yoga teacher, yoga health coach, lifestyle and habits expert, easeful living advocate, and lover of wild places. She leads others towards Embodying Ease through a yearlong wellness & lifestyle journey to dissolve perfectionism, embody daily habits that promote mental clarity, overall ease, and deeper connection to life on this wild ride of modern living. Learn MORE today!